Empress Island

I have had it with this mother fracking snow in this mother fracking area!  I need to be on a tropical island somewhere, sipping a frozen drink on the beach.  My son asked me which of my friends I'd rather be stranded on such an island with.  I made the dubious error of posting his query on Facebook, and now my friends are under the mistaken impression that I am in possession of my own private island.   Do they really think I'd still be HERE in Snow Hole, PA, if that were true?!?!


That said, I decided that if my friends were going to vie for a spot on my island, I would make them work for it.  And so I give you:

As with the tv show, contestants will be divided into two tribes, randomly chosen.  Each tribe must choose a leader and compete together in challenges.  After each challenge, the losing tribe must vote off one member.   Tribe members and rules may be changed at any given time by the hostess (Me). 

CHALLENGES: 

1.       Tent Trials—Tribes must set up camp for themselves.  The best looking/most functional campsite (as judged by the hostess) wins. The losers must clean my cabin. 

2.     Geek  Squad—Tribes will choose three members to fix my laptop, ipod, and whatever other electronic device I manage to screw up.  Prior service in this area does NOT count.

3.     All Tied Up—Tribes will race to complete a ropes course challenge.  Anyone who falls must return to the beginning of the course and start over.  The first tribe to finish (all members have completed the course) wins.

4.     Movie Madness—The tribe that can correctly identify the movie from which the quotation was taken receives a point.   The tribe with the most points wins. 

5.     Book Bonanza—Tribes must race through a maze to find books that match the clues they are given.  The first tribe to find all the books  wins. 

6.     Grammar Nazis—Tribes will send one member at a time to race to a white board upon which a passage is written.  They must correct the grammar, spelling, and punctuation of the passage.  Each tribe member makes one correction, then races back to the line.  The first tribe to correctly edit the passage wins.

7.       It’s Good to Be the Empress—Tribes must take turns pampering the hostess.  The team who does the best job wins. 

8.     So You Think You Can Dance—Tribes must dance for my amusement.  The most entertaining tribe wins.  An immunity idol will be given to the best overall dancer.

9.     Iron Chef—Tribes will be given a set of ingredients and must cook for me.  The tribe who makes the best meal wins.  The losers have to clean up the mess. 

10.  Semi-final challenge—All remaining contestants will compete as individuals.  The details of the challenge are not to be revealed until that time.   Only the winner and the first runner up of this challenge will compete in the Final Challenge.

11.   Final Challenge—The  top two contestants will explain why they feel they deserve to win a spot on my island.  The prior contestants will give their input and vote for who they think should win.  

No Chinese For Me, Please

After reading this article:  Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior, I realized I am not the meanest mommy in the whole wide world, as I so often tell my children.  Perhaps it’s my Western mentality, but I still believe that children should be allowed to be children, not miniature adults. 

Yes, excellent grades are the expectation in our household, much to the Prince of Distraction’s consternation.   And I completely agree that repetition helps children to learn.  But expecting kids to spend all their time out of school being drilled on their school work and practicing whatever instrument/skill the parent has decided the child should play seems almost cruel. 

I’m also not in favor of insulting a child as a means of motivating them.  Yes, I let my children know when they haven’t met our expectations—in spades.  But as long as I know they’ve put their best effort into that endeavor, I will acknowledge that effort in a positive way. 

I believe in the power of positive reinforcement, as I’ve seen the difference that can make, both with my students and my own children.  Most people seem to like feeling appreciated.   Some people do force themselves to improve after being continually insulted, but I think it happens more out of self-defense. Do they really feel better about themselves once they’ve improved, or do they feel like no matter what they do, it’s not good enough?  I fell into the latter category, as a child, and it was not productive.

I think our kids need us to be their coaches in life, not their task masters.  We need to teach them the rules of the game, encourage them to go out there and try their best, and show them where they went wrong.  That may mean yelling, that may mean benching them, but not belittling them because they’re not naturally the best players on the team.

Logically, it’s not even possible for every kid to be the best at everything, anyway.   So by shaming their children for not having the highest grade in their class, or getting first place in competitions, Chinese mothers teach their kids that it’s only the destination that matters, not the journey.  Never mind that the kid made friends on the soccer team or that they had fun playing the sport. 

Oh wait.  Chinese kids aren’t typically encouraged to play team sports, act in plays, or have friends.  To me, that’s an incredibly sad way to grow up, and I would think the lack of social skills would hinder them as they get older. 

While I recognize that Chinese kids blow U.S. kids away academically, and that their methods obviously yield results, I think the cost is too high for my taste.  I want my kids to enjoy their childhood and learn how to make the most out of their lives.  Feel free to remind me of this when my son forgets his homework again.  

Unfit Santa

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas soon will be there . . .   The following article offers a new perspective on jolly ole St. Nick.

8 Reasons That Santa Claus is an Unfit Family Icon

Facebook Fights

 I realize that the holidays are a stressful time for many people, but Aunt Jemima’s socks, people!   I swear if I see another couple airing their dirty laundry on facebook, I swear I’m going to go postal. Seriously, over the last month, I’ve witnessed at least five couples trash-talking each other in their statuses or wall-to-wall posts.  For the folks I don’t know well, it’s mildly entertaining, even soap-operatic.  But the better I know them, the more uncomfortable it becomes.

Most of the time, they’ll eventually overcome their nonsense and go back to posting syrupy sweet lovey-dovey comments, and all is well.  But  for some of them, I wonder how long that will last.  As a “hint” to some of those folks, my hubby and I started a fake facebook fight.  For those who know us best (and realize we keep our fights to ourselves), it would have been good for a laugh.  Alas, we did this at a time when no one seemed to be online, so it was a futile effort. 

So now I’m left to wonder whether to be the jerk who calls them out and tells them to stop acting like a bunch of adolescents,  un-friend them without explanation, or try to ignore the drama.  And NO, de-activating my facebook account is not an option.  I enjoy catching up with old friends and keeping touch with current friends.  It’s also very useful for event planning. Okay, and I confess I've gotten hooked on Farmville.   Besides, why should I punish myself for others’ misuse of the site?  

Murder and Mayhem Make For a Great Weekend!

Well, it appears I pulled it off! Despite some last minute cancellations and new attendees, the Murder Mystery Weekend was a rousing success. (If I do say so myself).  

Friday night, those of us staying the weekend gathered at a local bar/nightclub to see a comedy concert.   

Saturday, my gal pals and I went shopping for a few party supplies and got our nails done.  They even helped me get the meeting room set up and decorated before we joined our guys in the hotel's hot tub.  Then we grabbed dinner at the restaurant next door before dashing back to our rooms to get ready for the main event.

It was totally awesome watching everyone arrive, decked out in their 1980's best.  And everyone really got into playing their roles, which was a blast. I wrote it with the idea that the participants were to improvise their parts based on the information in their clues, and did they ever! High school was never this much fun for me!

I had love triangles, love children, a catfight, and practically fisticuffs. All the ladies kept getting hit on by folks that weren't really supposed to be interested in their characters--including me!  My character was, by the way, a photographer--I must've snapped a few hundred pictures. I borrowed a friend's camera, and cannot wait to see the photos.

Everyone said they had a fabulous time, and are already asking when I'll be doing the next one. It was great seeing my work come to life, better hanging with my good friends, and awesome making new friends.  But the best was knowing that everyone had a good time.

I learned a few lessons along the way, too:

1) Just write a basic draft and leave it be until the commitment deadline. Save any rewrites for the week of the event.

2) Send packs of vitamins to all attendees, so no one ends up in the hospital the week of the event (It's happened two years running).

3) Try not to be such a damn control freak and let people help out.

4) It really doesn't have to be perfect . . . really. 

Parental Tantrums

We all have our moments when we "lose it" and yell at our kids.  I had one such moment today.  Then a friend of mine posted the following article on Facebook.  I dare you to read it with a beverage in your mouth, because I guarantee you'll need a new keyboard by the time you're done.

Preventing Temper Tantrums in Parents

I Voted . . .

Now leave me the hell alone!  As anyone with more than two functioning brain cells would know, today was Election Day.  While I find watching paint dry only slightly more interesting than politics, I was more than happy to hit the polls so I could push the magic button that will remove our current governor from office. 

But even more thrilling than the end of William J. Lepetomane’s reign will be the end of those annoying political calls.  Our home phone rang no less than four times a day with someone soliciting our vote.  We have caller ID so I didn’t pick up the phone, but that just clogged up my voicemail box.  

So to all those men and women that made and/or recorded all those damn political calls, I am so happy to bid you adieu that I may call off the plague of locusts I ordered.

Or maybe not . . .