Things That Make My Skin Crawl

A friend was telling me about a new lotion she was trying. I replied, “Goodness knows, I need to find one that works. My skin gets really, really dry over the winter--to the point that putting lotion on it burns . . . "

"It puts the lotion on it's skin!"

Of course, just thinking about that movie reminded me of how much it freaked me out. In fact, it freaked me out to the point when I saw Ted Levine years later as Captain Stottlemeyer on Monk (I love that show.) I freaked out all over again. This, of course, led to another twisted conversation with my hubby.

Husband Fixture was like, "What is your problem?"

 I said, "That's BUFFALO BILL! I'd know that voice anywhere!!!!"    

Hubby shook his head. You're being paranoid. He's just an actor. Probably not even the same guy.

Me: How much do you wanna' bet? I. Know. That. Voice. And. It. Creeps. Me. The. Hell. Out.

HF: Whatever.

Me: I am so looking this up . . . (rushes to computer) SEE?!?!? Ted Levine is totally Buffalo Bill! I love Tony Shalhoub, but I don't think I can watch this.

HF: Why? He's a totally different character.

Me: He's an ACTOR. He could totally be acting NOW, but Buffalo Bill is what he's really like. He might try and make a skin suit out of me. I'm not exactly a petite girl, you know!

HF: Uhm, Buffalo Bill died in the movie, remember?

Me: Oh yeah. So now I just have to worry about Hannibal Lecter trying to eat me.

HF: With some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Me: I hate you.

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By the way, Jason Gray-Stanford who played Lt. Randy Disher on Monk is a lefty.