The Classical and the Crass

I don’t normally watch Dancing With the Stars.  But when one of my favorite athletes, Hines Ward, signed on to do the do the show I made it a priority to tune in.   It is also not my habit to blog about  tv shows, but this week provided way too much fodder for discussion (even if that discussion was only between me, myself, and I). 

This week’s theme was classical, which I really enjoyed.  Even if the dances sucked, I had the chance to listen to some of the most beautiful music ever composed.  The only thing that really bugged me—besides Hines and Kym getting gypped in their scores, was the whole “Bolero” thing that almost every number contained.  For those that don’t get the reference, I guess I’m showing my age here.  Think Olympic ice dancing with  Torvill and Dean. They earned a perfect score (and the gold medal) with their performance to Ravel’s Bolero in 1984.  The number ended with both skaters lying on the ice.  For a few years after that, it seemed every ice dancing number ended with one or both of the team lying on the ice.   

Speaking of death, Kendra really needs to go the hell home.  Not only does she lack the grace and elegance for ballroom dancing, she cannot keep her mouth shut.  When the judges commented on her lack of elegance, she said, “I just don’t care about it.”  The next night, during the results show, Brook Burke asked her about her performance, and she admitted to not feeling her best due to , “womanly things.”  Really classy, Kendra.  

Something I did notice was that Jennifer Hudson (who performed beautifully) wore a dress that made her look like a Polly Pocket doll.  It seemed like it was cut too short, and I was concerned that there would be a wardrobe malfunction.

And speaking of wardrobe malfunctions, what’s up with Kirstie Alley losing her shoe?  Last week her partner dropped her, and this week her shoe comes off.  She just can’t seem to catch a break.  I hope next week goes a bit better for her (though not so well that she beats my boy).

Last but not least, I have to mention that the Lieutenant Len bit was bloody stupid. For those that were lucky enough to miss it, allow me to spoil your blissful ignorance.  Len, one of the judges, dressed up like George Patton with sequin accents. No, I'm not joking.  How I wish I were . . .   The celebrity contestants were dressed in army tees, hats, dog tags, and camo pants.  He barked "orders" at them, as he explained next week's theme to them (songs about America).   I have no problem with doing a cute bit to introduce the next week’s theme, and I get that Len is the toughest of the judges.  But the theme is patriotic songs, and he’s British!  Did I mention the whole bit was stupid?

That’s it for this week’s rant.  GO HINES!!