Sibling Rivalry

A fellow blogger (Donkeys to College) posted a bit about her brother’s exaggerated claims that she somehow maimed his teddy bear when they were children.  This reminded me of some of my own sister’s tales of woe.  I suppose it’s about time to set the record straight. 

First of all, my sister is five and a half years younger than I, and as the baby of the family, she was spoiled bloody rotten.   I had to be responsible and do chores, while she barely lifted a finger.   I was cruelly flogged for even the most minor misdeed, whilst she merely fluttered her lashes and the most heinous transgressions were pardoned. 

She did the typical younger sibling things—making messes and blaming them on me, swiping things from my room, and getting sick right before nearly every vacation . . .   She had a set of those wind-up chattering teeth, and she would actually bite herself with them and claim that I had done it.  It wasn’t until years later (when I got braces) that my folks caught on. 

She claims I was downright cruel to her.  I was merely acting in self defense.   Take the time when I informed  her that yarn contained parasitic worms that would eat her from the inside out.  My mother used to crochet, so there was plenty of yarn around.  Imagine my mom’s dismay when my sister got sick and mom tried to cover her up with one of her afghans (with tassels at each end).  My sister went ballistic.  I don’t think she will wear or own anything crocheted to this day.    

I also managed to exact a bit of revenge when I convinced her that the clothes dryer was a confessional.  I directed her to climb in and talk to the air vents inside, telling God all her sins.  If she heard one “boom” she was forgiven, if she heard two “booms” she had to do penance.  And never mind the whirring sound (as I tried to start the dryer).   And of course, I derived great pleasure in telling our parents all her dirty little secrets.   

For some reason, my sister still holds a grudge and blames me for all her misfortunes.  I figure I was preparing her for real life by alleviating her of her naivety.  A healthy skepticism is a good thing to have.  She was lucky to have a sister whose maternal instincts emerged so early.